Marriage

Marriage, in some form, is a universal human institution, predating recorded history.  Ceremonies and rites acknowledging a formal relationship have varied enormously over the centuries and continue to do so today. There is sometimes confusion in equating a ceremony with a marriage. Once a ceremony has taken place, it is the beginning of the couple's marriage.  The ceremony involves the community - family and friends who have come together to celebrate and witness the public affirmation of love between two individuals.

 

In the United States, church ceremonies have become a cultural tradition for many people.  Often the couple's participation in the life and ministry of the Christian community and their commitment to Jesus Christ are minimal, if they exist at all. Still, getting married in a church seems to be a must. Many sentimental, secular, social and cultural traditions, that have little to do with the spiritual nature of marriage, have emerged over the years.

 

Marriage in the Church is a privilege, not a right. When persons seek marriage in the Church, they should clearly understand that they are asking God, through Jesus Christ, to be an active part not only of the ceremony, but their entire lifetime together. The building in which this takes place is completely coincidental to the primary act of lifetime commitment.

 

We occasionally get requests from non-members about getting married at St. John's because of the beauty of the location, or for other reasons. Because of our understanding of Christian community (i.e., the Body of Christ), the use of the facility as a principal consideration is not a valid reason for a ceremony at St. John's.

 

It is the duty of every Bishop and priest of the Church to be morally responsible for the proper

preparation, celebration and administration of Marriage. Therefore, we offer a ministry to people who are sincerely seeking to begin a lifetime relationship through Jesus Christ with the support of the Church.

 

The following guidelines are intended to help couples and their families to maintain a Christian perspective - not only on the day of the ceremony, but in the lifetime of marriage that the couple will have together. The priest will be glad to consult with you after you have carefully examined these guidelines.

 

Membership

 

One of the individuals must be a member in good standing of the Episcopal Church and canonically resident at St. John's. Exceptions must be presented to the Liturgy Committee.

 

Pre-marital Preparation

 

In accordance with the Canons of the Episcopal Church, premarital counseling by a priest of the Church is required. At St. John's, a minimum of 12 hours of counseling over a period of time must be held with the priest before the date of the ceremony. Each couple is required to sign a "Declaration of Intention" as prescribed by the Canons of the Episcopal Church.

Scheduling

 

Arrangements as to the date and time should be made well in advance and must take into consideration the normal services, operations, and activities of the church. At St. John's we consider the primary worship service on Sunday morning to be an appropriate time for the celebration and blessing of a marriage, in addition to other times considered. The scheduling of the service is at the discretion of the priest, so please be sure to consult with the clergy before announcing a date or booking a reception.

 

The Marriage Rite

Marriages are solemnized in accordance with the Canons, doctrine and worship of the Episcopal Church. The rite used is that authorized by the Church and as prescribed in the Book of Common Prayer. Any alterations or additions must be reviewed by the priest.

 

The Holy Eucharist

 

The Holy Communion at a marriage is a centuries-old tradition. We believe that sharing the Lord's Supper is an appropriate part of the Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage and recommend that Holy Communion (Eucharist) be celebrated at all marriages.

 

Marriages not held in the Church Proper

 

Marriages are normally held in the church building. Requests for a ceremony to be held elsewhere must have reasonable justification and are allowed at the discretion of the priest and Liturgy Committee, after family consultation.

The Rehearsal

 

Rehearsals are held in the evening two days before the wedding, and are under the sole direction of the officiating clergy. Immediate families and those involved in the service are requested to attend.

Concerning Music

 

All arrangements for music must be made with those who plan and oversee all the music used in worship at St. John's. The selection of music should be in accordance with the spiritual and religious nature of the occasion. The text of all sung music should be in harmony with Christian doctrine. The use of soloists must be planned with the organist. Normally the church organist plays at all marriage ceremonies if available. Other arrangements must be discussed with the priest, Director of Music, or Liturgy Committee before another organist is asked to play.

 

Flowers, Decorations and Candles

 

The Altar Guild is in charge of the church environment. All arrangements regarding flowers, candles, and other decorations should be discussed with the head of the Altar Guild at least two weeks prior to the ceremony. As a matter of general policy, flowers, candles, and other decorations for a marriage service will only appear in those places where they would for any other worship service. The use of pew torches, window candles, etc., must be arranged with the Altar Guild.

Assisting Clergy

 

Assistance from clergy of other churches may be arranged. The extent of the assisting clergy's participation will be determined in consultation with the priest and Liturgy Committee.

 

Concerning Photography

 

Flash photographs may be taken before or after the ceremony (this includes the Processional and Recessional). FLASH PICTURES MAY NOT BE TAKEN DURING THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY or EUCHARIST. The service may be videotaped if done from a stationary location and photographs may be taken during other parts of the service if done in a non-distracting manner. The priest shall have the final say regarding the taking of photographs during the ceremony.

Receptions

 

The use of Montgomery Hall for a reception may be arranged though normal operation of the church must be considered. Since the church does not provide catering services, the responsibility and details of this service must be discussed with the priest and arranged by the family. Wine and champagne are the only alcoholic beverages permitted to be served at the church and a non-alcoholic alternative MUST also be provided. Arrangements for custodial services must be arranged with the church's custodial staff and sexton.

 

Concerning Divorced Persons

 

No priest may solemnize the marriage of a divorced person with a living ex-spouse unless permission to do so is received from the Bishop of the Diocese of Chicago, in accordance with the Canons of the Episcopal Church. Only the following applications for remarriage of a person with a living  ex-spouse whose marriage has been divorced, annulled or dissolved in the civil courts will be sent to the Bishop:

· one or both parties to the proposed marriage must be a communicant in good standing in the parish.

· one or both parties is a communicant in good standing, canonically resident in another parish who, for good cause, seeks remarriage at St. John's Church. If such a person(s) is canonically resident in another Diocese, consent must be obtained from the Bishop of that Diocese and affirmed by the Bishop.

· one or both parties is actively seeking membership in the Episcopal Church.  Applications for remarriage in the Church are not automatically forwarded to the Bishop.  As in any request for marriage in the church, a priest may decline to solemnize it as provided in the Canons.

Fees

 

For a member of the St. John's Church family getting married during the primary service of worship on Sunday morning, there is NO fee. At other times, some or all of the following fees are recommended:

 

Organist - Minimum $150 (to cover time at rehearsal and preparation. This fee could be higher if rehearsal with a soloist is required).

 

Altar Guild - Minimum $50 (to cover the cost of candles, cleaning of vestments and other requested items, wine, and bread).

 

Minister of Ceremony/and or Acolytes - Minimum $15 each.

 

Sexton - Minimum $20 (to cover an hour prior and following the ceremony to clean).

 

Service Leaflets - Minimum $50 per 75  (to cover the cost of printing and assembly).

 

Priest - There is no fee for the services of the priest for members of the parish. However, an honorarium is traditional. For those who desire a guideline, it is customary that the amount be no less than that of the service musicians. If the above fees present financial difficulties, or you have any questions regarding fees, please discuss this with our priest.

 

General Information

 

Rice may not be thrown at the couple as it is hazardous to the health of birds that might consume it.  Birdseed is an acceptable alternative. Bubbles are allowed; the only stipulation is that they be used outside the church and caution taken that they are not spilled. Questions regarding issues not covered in this brochure or about variances from these guidelines may be presented to the priest and Liturgy Committee for their consideration and final decision.

 

Marriage is a solemn and joyful occasion, important enough that our Lord Jesus Christ blessed it with his presence. The purpose of this webpage is to help answer and clarify any initial questions you may have about ceremonies to be held at St. John the Evangelist Episcopal Church. If after having read this information, you decide to plan your Celebration and Blessing of Marriage, please call the Church Office for an appointment with our priest.